What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
