There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
