What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
