careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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