What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
