Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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