Moan for me like Helen Keller
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
