Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
