so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
