In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
