So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
