He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
