Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
