There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
