You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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