David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
