but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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