dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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