I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
