It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
