Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
