I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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