I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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