i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
vagina is talking i cant
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
