My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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