She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
