I hate all girls vehemently.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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