The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
