It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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