glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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