I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
