Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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