I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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