addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
