I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
