Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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