i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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