I wish I only lived at night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
