you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
