this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
