Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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