Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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