question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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