and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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