i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
