in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
