turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize