these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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