i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
