Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm too high and old for this...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
