she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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