i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
