she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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