Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
