dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
