Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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