ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
