I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Is it penis luge time yet?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
