So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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