oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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