You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
