I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
