gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize