from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
one two three fourrrrnication!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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