Your mouth is God's brothel.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
