I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
