The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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