Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
